On my first date with the man who became my husband, he asked me to ‘name 5 relationships that you envy.’ I was shocked to discover that I couldn’t.
I saw dozens of relationships around me; I knew lots and lots of people in relationships. But I didn’t see many that were relationships I wanted to aspire to. I think between us, my husband and I can name 5 relationships that we truly hold up as ideal.
How about you?
How many ideal relationships can you name from the people around you? Hard isn’t it?
That’s because relationships and by that I mean long term romantic ones are, I believe one of the hardest thing we do.
They are nearly impossible when drinking and just as hard when we are sober.
Relationships are our ‘life task,’ the work does not end when we find the right partner. On the contrary, the ‘task’ of creating a life long committed relationship has only just begun. Alcoholics often learn the hard way that the wrong relationship can lead them down the path of relapse or worse. The lesson; sobriety always becomes before my relationship, because without sobriety I have nothing.
To have a relationship after alcohol require us to first have a relationship with ourselves.
By studying the relationships around me I’ve learnt a lot about what I want and what I don’t want.
How about you?