The importance of self care

You know self-care is important, right? I mean, it’s on your to-do list and just as soon as you get everything done, you’ll take care of yourself. So why does self-care always seem to be at the bottom of the list?

Self care in Spain with my bestie's.

Self care in Spain with my bestie’s.


I’m a therapist, so I totally get it, I know I need to take care of myself in order to serve others. But as a woman, I can also put my needs way down the list and the next thing I know I am running on empty. The first sign that I need to take care of myself, is when I start snarling at my husband. My husband is lovely, he really is. Incredibly supportive of me, he still thinks I’m the most beautiful woman in the room and just an all round good guy. But when my tank is empty, I’m just mean to him and he doesn’t deserve it.

That’s a red flag. I’ve talked about red flags before. They are important, pay attention to them. The information contained in them could be vital. So after hitting a low point last year, the importance of self-care really came home to me and I’ve made it my top priority.

I’ve just come off the most tremendous week of self care and I feel amazing. Inspired, connected, loved.
After my weekend in NYC at She Recovers I flew to Barcelona, Spain to spend three days with three of my oldest and dearest friends. It was tough. Finding a window in our schedules, arranging childcare, booking flights. Agreeing on where to go. But one of us had just been through a very serious health issue and all of those barriers just melted away. None of them were insurmountable challenges when you focus on what matters.
Friendship. The power of connection, supporting people you love by just being there for them. All of it filled my cups.

I spend most of my days with very small children so just being around adult people feels so enriching to me. And I just really, really needed that last week. I needed the joy and emotion of She Recovers and I needed the love and connection from my bestie’s. I really, really needed some self-care.

This will enrich me for a while, then at some point, if I let it, I’ll find myself running on empty again. But this time I’m not going to let myself get to that point. Self-care transforms me. I am a much better wife and mother when I take care of myself. By getting enough sleep, eating right and scratching out just a little bit of time each week for me. And making that time a priority. Top of the list. Everything flows from that.

What ever stage you are at in your recovery, whether you are early days or 17 years like me. What are you doing to take care of yourself? How high on your to-do list is self-care?

Cadaques, Spain 2017 - the perfect place to relax and unplug.

Cadaques, Spain 2017 – the perfect place to relax and unplug.

2 thoughts on “The importance of self care

  1. Margaret

    Thank you for the vital reminder. I’m not in recovery from addiction but from taking care of an addicted son. Self care is what saved my life so I could try to help him. I try to remember to do this daily but also in a larger scale as well.

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