Author Archives: Veronica Valli

About Veronica Valli

Mother, therapist, coach, writer, speaker, wife, recovered alcoholic

Your Ultimate Recovery Giveaway!!!!!!!!!!!

Have you heard of the amazing She Recovers conference that is happening in NYC on May 5-9th?!
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This one of kind experience will feature keynote speeches from the top women in the industry, like Gabrielle Bernstein and Marianne Williamson! Plus, a special guest yoga class with Elena Brower!

Tickets are SOLD OUT but my blog readers have a chance to WIN a front row ticket to the Live Stream event! (That means you can watch in your PJs!)

PLUS,

You’ll also be entered to win a one of kind box filled with awesome gifts from the top bloggers that will be attending the show (so that you’ll feel just like you are in NYC with us)

Here are some of the amazing things you can win!

Here are some of the amazing things you can win!


AND one Ekka Recovery box!

Click HERE to be entered to WIN!

Blamers Anonymous

Image courtesy of Michal Marcol / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Michal Marcol / FreeDigitalPhotos.net


This is a short video by Brene Brown on blaming. It’s brilliant and I sooooo relate to it.
My poor husband, if I can try and find a way to blame him for something, I will. She explains that ‘blame’ is just a way of discharging discomfort and pain. Blaming is how we discharge anger. We spend our energy raging and trying to figure out ‘whose fault it is.’ When we do this we miss an opportunity to grow.
And that’s our purpose here, to grow. Please check it out, it’s 3 minutes long and explains it perfectly.

Rea Bochner – in recovery from food addiction

Rea Bochner is in recovery from food addiction. I think you will find her story moving and powerful. So many people suffer with food issues but we still don’t talk about it enough.
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Here’s more about the book:
The Cape House is a story both personal and universal, told with fearless honesty and laugh-out-loud humor. It begins on the day that Bochner’s mother, Debbi, tells her that she’s received a prognosis of terminal cancer, and has decided to move to the family’s beloved summer home in Cape Cod to die. Over the next six weeks, as Debbi deteriorates, Bochner writes the story of her family, and looks back on the winding road she trudged with her mother through addiction, recovery, and redemption. Readers travel with the author from Phoenix, Arizona, to a medieval Dutch castle, to the Old City of Jerusalem, where an array of colorful characters shape her destiny in unexpected ways. Meanwhile, Bochner presents a real-life portrait of a family struggling to stay together, even as their personal journeys threaten to tear them apart.

As both a eulogy for and a celebration of an exceptional woman, Rea Bochner writes unflinchingly of the powerful bond between a mother and her daughter. The result is a moving book that carries the readers from tears to laughter, from mourning to triumph. The Cape House is a testament to love as a force of nature, and the journey of one woman to discover herself.

Tell me about your own recovery:
I struggled with food from the time I was young. I knew in kindergarten I was different from other kids; no one else dug half-eaten pizza crusts out of the garbage can or stole snacks from other kids’ lunch boxes. By eight, I was very overweight. At ten I started the first of many commercial diets, which I always failed. By fourteen, I weighed well over 200 pounds. At 16, as I approached 250, I tried to curb the weight gain with bulimia, which continued on and off until my early twenties. Around that time I also started experimenting with alcohol; although I never went as far down as I did with food, it was rare that I drank normally – I almost always binge-drank. I walked into my first 12-step meeting at 19 and had no idea what was going on. What was no one weighing me? Where was the food I was supposed to buy? I struggled for two years before I finally surrendered and was willing to do whatever it took to get better. Yesterday, March 29, was my 13th anniversary of the night I got abstinent. The big lie I told myself for years before I got clean was that once I was thin, my life would be perfect. I would be perfect. But lo and behold, a year and a half after I got abstinent, I reached my goal weight and discovered I was crazier than I’d been at 250. After I discovered the pain and loneliness hadn’t gone away, I started working the twelve steps in earnest and had a real spiritual experience. Around that time, I met my husband, who has only ever known me in recovery, with whom I had three boys, who have only ever known a mother in recovery. I’ve since gone through all kinds of ups and downs – financial struggle, job changes, motherhood, moving, the loss of my mother, and many others, without picking up. Underneath, I’ve always known that I’m being carried, that I’m meant for important work in this world. So I hold on and keep moving forward, keep growing, even when it’s difficult.


Why did you decide to write such a personal book?

There were a few reasons. First of all, before she died, my mother asked me to write the book, and I wanted to honor that request. I wanted to pay her the tribute she deserved while giving a real-life picture of what it looks like to help someone die. Many people have never experienced it, and I hope that by sharing mine it will empower people if they should ever have to go through it themselves, or offer solidarity to those who have already gone through it. Also, there was no way to talk about my mother’s and my relationship without talking about my addiction and recovery, because it was so tied up how we related to each other. I was sick and wanted her to save me, and she thought that was her job. It was only when I took responsibility for myself that things changed for both of us. I also wanted to be frank about what food addiction looks like because, despite the awareness of alcohol and drug addiction, there still seems to be stigma and moral judgment about that particular eating disorder. People don’t seem to realize that food addiction is just as real as alcohol and drug addiction. So I wanted to bring some light to that, in case someone struggling with it would see they’re not alone.

So many people suffer from food issues and have no idea how to solve the problem. Could you say more about what you feel was under your food addiction?

I was an imaginative yet anxious kid, very fearful, and I used food to anesthetize that. Fear played a big part in my life and informed almost every decision I made, and food was the only way I could cope. I remember always feeling different from my peers, not just because of my food or my weight, but just a sense, which many addicts have, that everyone but me had read the manual for life. It was a very lonely way to grow up, and again, food became my companion. I also grew up in a Jewish family, and many of our traditions revolve around food, so it was a perfect storm. Turning to food was a habit I integrated very young, to the point where I didn’t even think about it anymore; it was just what I did. There was anger under there, too, though it wasn’t something I recognized until much later, after I’d gotten clean and surprised myself by how rageful I was. Lastly, food was my way to hide from responsibility, and to control my life. If I could hide in my body and keep the parameters of my life small, then I didn’t have to worry about success or failure or getting hurt. Working the twelve steps and developing a relationship with a higher power was really my answer to all of these things; it didn’t wipe out the fear and loneliness, but gave me tools to coexist with them without self-destructing.
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And, what would you say to someone who was struggling the way you were?
It’s not always going to be like this. There is a way out. And when you’re ready for help, there are thousands of us who are ready to show up.

About the author:
Rea Bochner is a writer, speaker, and recovering mother of five. She wrote her first haiku in third grade and has been writing ever since. Known for her witty, honest voice, Rea tackles subjects as disparate as pregnancy and parenting, grief, addiction and recovery, spirituality, and women’s issues. Her work has been featured in a wide variety of print and web media, including the New York Times Bestselling “Small Miracles” series. She holds a BA in Film from Emerson College and an MA in Education from Montclair State University. “The Cape House” is her debut memoir.

You can learn more about the book (and me) by visiting my website: http://reabochner.com.

Everyone needs a sister like Glennon


There are a ton of mommy-bloggers out there. Motherhood with all its joys and challenges is being documented by an army of fabulous, smart, kick ass women. And one of the most searingly honest, funniest and sassiest is Glennon Doyle Melton, a sober mommy-blogger. She coined the term ‘Momastry’ and set about building a community of imperfect and fabulous mothers who were all facing their own struggles.
She wrote a book ‘Carry on, warrior’ that detailed her own struggles and triumphs. I like Glennon for many reasons, she is very open about her recovery from addiction and eating disorders but the reason I love her is her attitude towards sisterhood. She believes it’s essential for women to be part of a sisterhood. And I agree with her.

Sisterhood is everything. It was a huge part of what was missing in my life when I was drinking. Sobriety has given me an amazing sisterhood.

In her new book ‘Love Warrior’ she details how just when she thought she had her life figured out her marriage was rocked by her husband’s infidelity. Glennon presents life as it is, imperfect, messy and real. And we need all of that. It’s exhausting pretending everything is perfect, because none of us are.
Glennon will be giving one of the keynotes as *SheRecovers next month. I am so excited to hear her. If you haven’t got tickets there are still digital tickets available here.

If you are going, be sure to let me know so we can say hi.

*In addition to the above you will also have access to:
– TWO yoga sessions with Taryn Strong and Elena Brower
– listen to a talk by She Recovers founder Dawn Nickel
– go behind the scenes with the Sober blogging team
– Spoken word performance by Elena Brower
– Musical performance by Elizabeth Edwards
– Speakers including Nikki Myers from Y12SR

And there’s more! You will have access to the content for 60 days after the event, the keynote speakers (Excluding Glennon Doyle Melton and Gabby Bernstein) will ONLY be available via the LIVESTREAM.

and finally…..you can take part in the She Recovers community online, chat with other She Recovers attendees and ask questions of the panelists and speakers.

All this for just $79 (if purchased by April 15th, $89 after). You can buy tickets for this exclusive event here: BUY MY TICKETS NOW!!!!

#ICan’tKeepQuiet

A friend of mine sent me this video. #ICantKeepQuiet by MILCK. The performer is survivor of sex abuse, anorexia and depression and channeled her feelings into music. The song is catching fire and has become an anthem to lots of people.
Great song AND a great message.

How to be invisible.

Image courtesy of Heavypong at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Heavypong at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

A few years ago, the bar owners around the campus of the University of Illinois realized they were missing out on some major revenue because St Patrick’s day fell during Spring Break. Which meant there were no students around and no therefore no partying. Not wishing to miss out on such a lucrative opportunity they created ‘Unofficial.’ Which is ‘unofficial St Patrick’s Day’ to take place the week before. ‘Unofficial’ has since become a huge event with students traveling from other colleges to take part in the, um, ‘celebrations.’

When I lived in Champaign, my husband and I walked around the college bar area checking out what it was like. There is something incredible about being over 25 and being on a college bar scene. It renders you completely invisible.

Drinking is part of the college scene and after finals, a lot of kids need and deserve to cut loose. Partying is fun. I did it.
But then someone dies and the reality of binge drinking at college comes crashing home. Twenty-three year-old Jonathan Morales fell from a balcony to his death during this years ‘Unofficial.’ It is the third student death related to the ‘Unofficial’ event. Morales is just one of an estimated 1825 college students to die of alcohol related causes this year.

What do we do? Ban drinking? Ban ‘Unofficial’? It wouldn’t stop it, it would just drive it under ground. Kids would still die, injuries and sexual abuse would probably go un-reported.
But we have to do something, right? Kids can’t go to college and keep dying this way.
1825 young people is far too high a number for us to feel comfortable with.

My friend Joe Schrank has a rather controversial suggestion and I have to say I think it’s worth considering. Prohibition isn’t the answer, instead, we have to accept that young people want to party we just want to lower the risk of them doing so. Schrank’s suggestion is to ban the sale of hard liquor on college campuses and only sell beer. Of course you can still get very drunk on beer, it’s just really hard to drink lots of it very quickly in the way you can with hard liquor. Second, he suggests the legalization of marijuana, as marijuana is very hard, if not impossible to overdose on.
Of course marijuana comes with risks, there are many mental health problems associated with using it. I don’t want my kids to use it. I don’t want my kids to use anything. But is that realistic? I hope they are going to college and I want them to have fun and I can also remember what it’s like to be young adult with all that freedom and no responsibility. Most of all I want them to be safe. I would at least like a discussion on what we could do to make kids safer when they party at college.

I know there is no perfect solution here. If marijuana is legalized then it is essential that the taxes from it are plowed into drug prevention and treatment. No substance is without risk.
Right now, I’m not seeing a lot of outrage to these events or to the amount of kids who die each year. I believe they are preventable. But right now these deaths are invisible.

Ben Affleck: addiction superhero

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I have to confess I am not a Ben Affleck fan. I tend to avoid movies that have him in it. However, right now I am giving him a standing ovation.

You may have seen his brief, but poignant Facebook statement about his recent stay in rehab. In case you missed it, here it is:

“I have completed treatment for alcohol addiction; something I’ve dealt with in the past and will continue to confront. I want to live life to the fullest and be the best father I can be. I want my kids to know there is no shame in getting help when you need it, and to be a source of strength for anyone out there who needs help but is afraid to take the first step. I’m lucky to have the love of my family and friends, including my co-parent, Jen, who has supported me and cared for our kids as I’ve done the work I set out to do. This was the first of many steps being taken towards a positive recovery”.

This may seem trivial, but what is amazing about his post, is how positive and how lacking in shame it is.

I’m so tired of the celebrity rock bottom/rehab/trite confession to Opera cycle. Addiction is a medical issue, a disease of the brain and a mental health problem. It is not a moral issue and we really need to stop treating it like one. This is not unlike other celebrities issuing statements to let people know have sought treatment for Lupus/breast cancer/Diabetes. But when it comes to addiction, celebrities are usually hounded and shamed into admitting they have an alcohol/drug problem. This has not been helpful to ordinary people who suffer from the same illness. Shame stops people seeking treatment when they need it. Hiding our disease in the myth of anonymity/secrecy keeps everyone sick. His honesty, straightforwardness and lack of shame, gives everyone else permission to do the same.
Ben Affleck has treated addiction like the disease it is, may others follow.

Do you want to go to She Recovers in NYC?

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Well now you can!
Tickets are sold out and there is a huge waiting list for cancellations, HOWEVER the event is going to be live streamed.
So you can attend She Recovers from anywhere in the world!
You will be able to see and hear keynote speakers Marianne Williamson, Glennon Doyle Melton, Gabrielle Bernstein and Elizabeth Vargas.

In addition to the above you will also have access to:
– TWO yoga sessions with Taryn Strong and Elena Brower
– listen to a talk by She Recovers founder Dawn Nickel
– go behind the scenes with the Sober blogging team
– Spoken word performance by Elena Brower
– Musical performance by Elizabeth Edwards
– Speakers including Nikki Myers from Y12SR

And there’s more! You will have access to the content for 60 days after the event, the keynote speakers (Excluding Glennon Doyle Melton and Gabby Bernstein) will ONLY be available via the LIVESTREAM.

and finally…..you can take part in the She Recovers community online, chat with other She Recovers attendees and ask questions of the panelists and speakers.

All this for just $79 (if purchased by the end of March, $89 after). You can buy tickets for this exclusive event here: BUY MY TICKETS NOW!!!!

His name is Luke……

Image courtesy of chrisroll at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of chrisroll at FreeDigitalPhotos.net


I was sent this very moving essay by a mother in Illinois. It moved me greatly. It is about her son Luke who is struggling with addiction.

“I am here to see my son Luke.
What is his number?
His name is Luke.
Mam, what is his number?
His name is Luke. Luke…Luke.
Lady, if you don’t give us his number, you will have to leave.
But his name is Luke………………
And his number is M164874”.

John Mayer has a song that says:

When you’re dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll outta bed and down on your knees
And for a moment you can hardly breathe

But I wasn’t dreaming…I was talking to the guards at Statesville Prison in Joliet, Illinois. Luke had barely turned 21. He was sentenced to two years in prison for criminal destruction to property over $300. His probation was revoked because he didn’t do what was mandated. They put a warrant out for his arrest. I remember the day he called to tell me was running because he couldn’t go back behind bars. He had spent two weeks in the county jail before his hearing, and he was like a trapped animal. I would visit him at the county and talk to him on a phone with glass in between us. Just like you see on TV folks. And I would put my hand on the glass and he would put his hand on the glass and I knew my heart was never going to beat the same. Luke has always been a free and creative spirit. When he told me that he was going to run, the fear took my breath away, but I also couldn’t tell him not to do it. We met on the sly for lunch a couple of times. I could have turned him in. I should have turned him in. Instead I would give him a hug and watch him walk away down an alley never sure if I would see him again. I knew he’d get caught, and he did.

Enter Statesville Prison in Joliet. Two hours drive there, two-hour visit, two hours drive back home. Every single week-end. They would call him up from his cell. His room was in a huge building at the end of a courtyard the length of a football field. I would hurry into the visiting room and go to the window so I could watch him walk across the courtyard. I watched every single step he took. My baby. And I would try to get my tears out before he entered the room. But I also knew that before he could enter that room, he would first have to go into the guard station to take down his pants, bend over, raise his balls. And after I left from the visit, he would again have to take down his pants to bend over, raise his balls.

He would call me non-stop during the week. Sometimes we’d only say a few words. But he needed to hear my voice and I needed to hear his. On my visits on the week-ends, the first time we talked and talked. But with each visit, the talking became strained….his world never changed, and it was difficult for me to talk about the world outside that he was missing.

I could purchase a card to get food out of a vending machine for Luke when I was visiting. I know it sounds so minor, but it was a major event and one of the things that would make me cry. Momma bear knowing that food was a comfort. Luke longed for the food…crappy microwave sandwiches and Mountain Dew and some chips. But half the time the card machine was broken or the vending machines were empty. And I would sit there and cry because it meant something, and Luke would look at me and say “Mom, don’t worry about it, just please don’t cry.

As time went on, I continued to be a mess on the inside. Some friends and family changed the subject if I mentioned his name. It was awkward to talk about my son being in prison. I became two different people…I went through my days as normally as I could, but I was also heart broken by his imprisonment and by the system. And I knew the importance of visiting each weekend, but it was SO difficult to get into my car and drive the long drive and endure the pain of seeing him in his prison jump suit, losing weight, and losing touch with the outside world. And Statesville…it’s like an Alcatraz in Illinois. Frightening.

So with each visit I became more and more agitated. The guards sitting at the front desk, watching every move we made in the visiting room while they sat there with their feet on the desk, eating food and tapping on the window if I got too close to Luke. It got to the point where I felt like the scene in Terms of Endearment when Shirley McClaine becomes a maniac when her daughter, dying of cancer, needs pain medicine. If you haven’t seen the movie, she screams at the nurses “I don’t see why she has to have this pain it’s time for her shot, do you understand? Do something…my daughter is in pain! Give her the shot, do you understand me? GIVE MY DAUGHTER THE SHOT!!! Just like that, I wanted to scream:

WHY IS THE CARD MACHINE BROKEN AGAIN AND WHY AREN’T THERE CHIPS IN THE VENDING MACHINE, AND WHY CAN’T I TOUCH MY SON, AND WHY ARE YOU TURNING AWAY LOVED ONES WHEN THEY HAVE A SHIRT THAT’S TWO LOW CUT, AND WHY DO YOU KEEP POUNDING ON THE WINDOW IF I REACH TO TOUCH HIM, AND HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME TAKE MY TWO YEAR OLD GRANDSON’S DIAPER OFF TO “SEARCH” HIM BEFORE HE CAN SEE HIS DAD, AND WHY DID YOU TEAR MY SON’S CELL APART BECAUSE HE SNUCK A COOKIE FROM THE LUNCH ROOM BECAUSE HE WAS HUNGRY…HE WAS HUNGRY!!! AND WHY DO YOU INSIST HE IS JUST A NUMBER???

The Dalai Lama once said “Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.” I wish I could post that at the guard station at Statesville. But this isn’t about the prison system per se, it’s about the understanding of pain which is always trumped by love.


Where he is today:

That was in 2011-2012. Luke did really well the first year and a half out of prison. Fast forward to today, 2017. Luke is a mess. He is probably the worst I have ever seen him. He admits he is addicted to drugs and alcohol, so much so that without either in just a day’s time, he begins shaking and having withdrawal. He refuses to get the help he needs. He recently went for an involuntary evaluation prompted by the police, but within 4 hours he was released.

He has five felonies, two active. He also has two Orders of Protection against him. He will most likely be sentenced back to prison. That’s if it even gets that far….because, as in the past, he’ll run. He’s like a wild animal that can’t be caged. And if he does run, he will end up dead because he can’t keep doing the abuse over and over again to his body. And how will I know where he is? And how will I know if he is dying?

This was his latest text message to me from last week:

“You are fucking stupid.
You’re the worst mom ever.
Fuck you.
I hate that you’re my mom.
I hate you.
I FUCKING HATE YOU.”

And an hour later:

“I don’t hate you.
I am going to kill myself.
I am going to kill Rachel.
I wish my son would die so you all know how it feels to miss someone.
Good-bye mom.
I’m going to fucking kill myself and you all have yourselves to blame.“

He is terrorizing every one that he loves. You are watching him terrorize himself. You take him for food because he is hungry. You drive around for hours listening to him talk, watch him cry, then watch the anger return, and you’re paralyzed when he pounds the dashboard, pounds his own head, and pulls at his hair. You give him a hug and he is filthy…that smell of alcohol, BO and cigarettes. And you actually go home and don’t want to take a shower because that disgusting smell is all you have of him.

Mental illness and drug abuse. I don’t even know how to begin to understand it. But it is the devil. I don’t know how to kill it. I don’t know how to help my son. I don’t know…and I am exhausted and terrified.

I attend a support group. I listen to similar stories. These complete strangers instantly become your life line. They tell their stories and it somehow gives you comfort that you aren’t alone. You cling to their every word. You hug, you cry, you exchange emails, you give fake smiles, and you tell each other that it will all be okay. And you walk out the door believing that.

For a moment. For a moment.

But then you get in your car to drive home, and the pain returns immediately. The fear returns. The hopelessness returns. You hear a siren and wonder where your son is. You get in bed and toss and turn. You fear your phone will ring in the middle of the night. You wake up the next day and he is the first thing that enters your mind.

Every once in a while you see him and he looks healthy and he is smiling. Or you get a nice text. And he tries to say something meaningful and thoughtful because he knows his own mom is afraid of him. And just when you are feeling calm, you get a text from the demons inside his head and the euphoria-hope-please dear God moment you had comes crashing down.

Shadow of Hand in jail by Sakhorn38 curtsy of Freedigitalphotos.net

Shadow of Hand in jail by Sakhorn38 curtsy of Freedigitalphotos.net


Lyrics from Hate Me by Blue October about a son singing to his mom so she will hate him and it will take her pain away.

“Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah, ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you.”

But it doesn’t work that way.

The pain never goes away.

And neither does the love.

‘Good people don’t smoke pot.’

Image courtesy of AKARAKINGDOMS at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of AKARAKINGDOMS at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I’m worried about the new administration. I don’t want to start a political slanging match, god knows Facebook has enough of those. But I am particularly concerned about the new Attorney General’s attitude towards everything drugs.

Facing addiction?
When we all attended the ‘Unite to Face Addiction’ rally back in October 2015 I really felt we were turning a corner and finally, finally we were at the dawn of a new attitude and direction for treating and discussing addiction. For decades, we have been stuck in the belief system that addiction, alcoholism and any kind of substance misuse is down to some kind of moral failing of the user. Surprisingly, this attitude has been also perpetuated by the recovery community, in their one-size-fits all, attitude to recovery and the mistaken belief that anonymity = secrecy. Which therefore, lead people to believe we had something to be ashamed of.
We don’t, of course. The first ever Surgeon General’s report into addiction states: ‘Addiction is a disease of the brain, not a character flaw.’
The report itself is ground breaking and long overdue. We hope it can do for addiction what the surgeon general’s report did for smoking fifty years ago. That we can start investing in research-driven prevention and treatment programs. This is a public health crisis, not a criminal one.

Opiate crisis
I keep reading about the opiate addiction and overdose crisis but I do not see anything substantial being done to combat it. There have been a few initiatives in different areas but no cohesive nation wide strategy.
Let me remind you, that many of the kids who are dying of opiate overdoses became addicted through sports injuries. You may think this won’t happen to you, but no family is immune.
It really felt like we were beginning to get somewhere and then we have this. Our new attorney general who is, quiet possibly, the only American left who thought the 1980’s ‘Just say no’ campaign was a good thing.

His beliefs about marijuana will tell you everything you need to know about what we can expect, ‘good people don’t smoke marijuana.’

*facepalm*

I am, therefore, not a ‘good’ person as defined by Jeff Sessions, I must confess I have smoked marijuana. You may know people who currently smoke marijuana and now you can put them in the ‘not good people’ bin. Because eventually, that’s where Sessions will put them, except his ‘bin’ is called, for-profit, *Ka-ching* prison’s.

Image courtesy of Sura Nualpradid at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Sura Nualpradid at FreeDigitalPhotos.net


For-profit prisons need a supply of inmates. The purpose of for-profit companies is to, ahem, increase their profits. I’m sure you can see where this is going.

Perpetuating the faulty, no-basis in science, stuck in the 1980’s, belief that good people don’t use drugs is a catastrophe for anyone with an interest, or a loved one affected by addiction.

Resist.