I am running a series of ‘Goodbye letters to alcohol.’ They can be a powerful and effective tool in helping us clearly see the damage it has done in our lives. if you would be interested in writing one, please contact me as I’d love to publish it.
This one is by Henry O
We once enjoyed the friendship that many do. In the beginning we met occasionally, in brief encounters that ended with mutual consent that contributed to many enjoyable social gatherings with laughter.
Then slowly you became a master of my destiny, as I grew older with feelings of inadequacy and low self esteem and that pitiful emotional loneliness the devoured every waking moment. You magically made them disappear and life seemed acceptable and pretentiously wonderful.
You disguised my fear with anger, my low self esteem with false pride and ego, and my low self worth with a false exterior of stolen wealth.
The more you came into my life, the harder it was to reach the false expectations you had convinced me I required; to be wanted needed and loved by anyone including myself.
You fooled me into a false sense of hope when actually there was only despair and loneliness in your company.
You stripped me of the ability to understand or believe there was any consequences to my selfish actions. You allowed me to justify my defects and blame someone else for my behavior
I allowed you to take my dignity and self respect as I depended on you more and more. You made me believe I needed to isolate myself and you took away those whom I loved and cherished. Secretly making me believe I loved you more and life was better with you.
That’s all gone now, I woke one day and found out I had turned into the person I had promised so many people that I would never become, especially after what I had seen you had do to my father. The loneliness would engross my days and nights even in a crowded room, seeking attention from everyone but that was never enough to fill the whole within me.
I realized my life was a lie, I was blinded by your actions and my life was a constant blackout of the truth.
Then, as I could sink no further, my only options were to either embrace our friendship further to die a sad and lonely death and end it all.
I still don’t know where I summoned the courage but I asked for help.
The grip you had over me seemed to me impossible to break as you left me feeling I could never live my life without you by my side.
I met these people that told me their stories of their life experiences of how you had done the same to them, but more impressively how they no longer bowed to your every tune.
They explained how they had overcome their obsession and to simply avoid that first meeting and how this could be achieved one day at a time.
They told me they had a sufficient subsitute and that I would be able to cope with life without you once I was able to accept that you had turned from being my friend into an illness.
Once I was prepared to accept I was powerless over you and I was incapable of managing my own life. My thoughts and actions were the very definition of insanity and I needed to open my eyes to the deprevation of my past and be prepared to share these with others.
It took me some time to understand and admit that you had beaten me to surrender, but now I am winning the battle, one day at a time.
So its been sometime since we parted and with the greatest of respect I say good riddance, we part with a mutual comprehension of your intentions and I must bid you farewell and warn you of my intention to avoid your harmful insidious clutches of hopelessness and loneliness.
More importantly I inform you of my dedication to think not of you but of those of whom you have lied to and still control.
You are no longer my master and commander, you can no longer harm me or those I love.
Good Bye to you Alcohol, you may still hold onto many within your control but I warn you of the thousands who will carry the message of a solution to the problems you cause and shout loudly of how we can live without you. We can make amends for our past and help others to see you for what you actually are.
You no longer have a hold over me.