Category Archives: Sober parent

Are you a sober parent?

Me and my boys. Photo courtesy of Cassie McConkey photography

Me and my boys. Photo courtesy of Cassie McConkey photography

I wrote in a previous post that your biggest job when becoming a parent is managing your own fear. Nothing is more terrifying than holding your precious one for the first time and having the realization hit you that there are just so many ways to f**k this up. I came to parenting relatively late (38 when I had my first, 42 when I had my second) with over a decades worth of sobriety under my belt. I really though ‘I’ve got this.’
And I so haven’t.
I pour over parenting books trying to absorb their wisdom so I can manage my preschooler in a way that doesn’t permanently damage his self-esteem. I fret that our recent house move has made him overly anxious. I project into the future about what this will mean for him. And, I feel the cold dark fear in the pit of my belly when I hear of another parent who has lost their child to addiction.
Like all parents we are just muddling through trying to do the best we can. We are all just making it up as we go along.
However, I do feel there is perhaps an added dimension to parenting when you, yourself are in recovery. We have been down a path that we don’t want our kids to go down. We understand the emotional drivers that feed addiction and we all had experiences in our own families of origin, that we don’t want to repeat with our own kids.
My kids are (almost) 4, and 5 months and I’m really interested in learning how I can be the best sober parent possible. I’m interested in learning from people who have already raised kids in sobriety about what they taught them about drugs and alcohol. What did you tell them? How did you share your own story of recovery? What are your fears as your kids go off to college?

With this in mind I have started a new Facebook page where I’m going to share information on parenting that I think is pertinent to parents in recovery. I will also post blogs and interviews with other parents so we can share this information and support each other on this journey. If you are a sober parent and have some wisdom to impart I would love to hear from you. I want to start an interview series (similar to the Recovery Rocks) ones that asks questions specific to parenting. If you are interested in taking part or finding out more, please contact me though my contact page.